Thursday, August 18, 2011

Meet me on the Equinox

Greg hates the music in the Twilight movies. I kinda want to buy the soundtracks. I know, I'm a horrible person, but that's the way it is. I like the music.

I TOTALLY recommend these movies. Honestly, I do. I think they're hilarious, but they're also far better than the books. More action- well, lets be fair, in order for there to be less action in the movie version of New Moon they'd have to replace K. Stew with a cardboard cut out. Like, literally.

But New Moon is great. If nothing else, watch it for the moments when Edward pops up like Obi Wan's ghost. The first time it happened- and, oh yeah, I knew it was coming- I laughed so hard I nearly peed myself. I had to pause the movie and get a handle on my shit, because I started wheezing and I have had a cold or something, so I needed to calm down or I was gonna choke and pass out.

No, I wasn't that drunk. Yet.

Also, just take a sip of whatever you're drinking (because you're probably drinking something, even if it's pepsi or whatever) every time Bella either mentions the hole in her chest or squeezes her chest like there's an alien baby trying to escape. A sip because if you're drinking liquor you will get fucked up fast. Unless that's your plan- then you should totally go for it. The end of the movie isn't that great.

Also also, I don't know how many times you can send a half dozen shirtless hot (both in the 'high in temperature' and the 'buff and sexy in some people's regard' sense)  guys out into the woods for some weird kind of alone time and not expect people to go straight to the gay metaphor.

Eclipse I was not drunk at all for (not even a little bit) and it was still uproariously hilarious. Also, the movies are running together in my head, which is fine by me. There's lots of "Edward and Jacob are either about to hit each other or snog" moments and I'm still bummed that neither REALLY happened.

C'mon, that would have been way more interesting then the Bella/Jacob Bella/Edward thing and YOU KNOW IT.

I will also say that, in all fairness, the movies pull off the "you're fucked up and I'm fucked up so let's be fucked up together" thing a little bit, which is much saner then the OUR LOVE IS PERFECT AND NEVER ENDING AND EVERYONE SHOULD BE LIKE US. I am really looking forward to the last two Twilight movies, like, not even joking. They're gonna be so hilarious.

Oh I watched My Bloody Valentine because it was about to drop off Instant Queue and I was playing Gnome Town on Facebook so I needed background noise, clearly, and the guy who played Laurent in Twilight and New Moon showed up, and I couldn't decide which movies he was slumming it in. Because he's not a bad actor, he's good looking. I think the answer is "all" but, I dunno. My Bloody Valentine wasn't bad, except for the 'this is so obviously supposed to have been in 3d' part. Which was distracting. And, of course, very bloody. Also, I didn't like the ending.

Wait, maybe it sucked.

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